Is low tolerance for other people’s crap a symptom of menopause? I haven’t seen it on any lists, but I am definitely feeling it ? I have found myself conflicting with everyone recently. For a long time I’ve let people get away with things to keep them happy at my own expense, but it’s getting harder and harder as I get older. I don’t know if it’s menopause, age, state of the world, or something else…but I just don’t want to deal with people’s crap anymore. Any of you feeling like this recently?
– Mona, Denver
I feel like it’s a combination of both age and menopause. Also entirely possible because the state of the world. But I started feeling the same way as you before the pandemic. I also think we can get so fed up during menopause because of the lack of resources available to us. And having to keep looking for new doctors all the time because once you start telling your doctor your symptoms blows you off. My last GYN actually said to me “hormone replacement is for women who can’t handle their emotions. “ I of course got up and walked out. Really.
Anyway I believe that we should all do what we need to to get through it. If that means cutting certain people from our lives then so be it. But you’re not alone. I too can’t take the nonsense anymore from certain people. I like to think of it as Wisdom. I’m smarter now because of age and don’t have to deal with jerks if I don’t to. Good luck hope this helps.
Hi Cat, thank you for your support. I can’t believe that quote from your GYN, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised ?Sometimes it feels like no one understands. I think you’re right that I shouldn’t feel bad about cutting out negative crap or people. Life is too short! Thanks again for sharing your thoughts xx
How on Earth can a GYN be so insensitive! Really makes me ?
I totally agree and I would’ve walked out of that GYN appointment too!
Please review doctors on yelp. This is ridiculous and I guarantee the Dr is saying this to other patients who can nit afford to see more than one doctor.
WOW!!!! I can’t believe that lack of concern and unprofessionalism. that is apparently acceptable or he/she would not have made that comment. I am so sorry that happened to you ???.
I actually saw mine and we discussed my treatment. She pretty much said she didn’t have many more options but did offer me the combination estiodol and progesterone pill. Currently I’m taking the patch and the progesterone pill. I think I’m having issues with absorption of the patch. Anyway that combo pill is over $750. Oh yeah she also recommended CBD oil for sleep. I have been using it but not consistently. Looks like I’m going to have to make it more routine.
This is exactly how I feel, I have no more patience for rude and selfish people. I have cut quite a few people out of my life because of it. I have to admit that I thought it was me changing for the worse, I’m usually a very easy going person. I’m one to never speak up for myself because I don’t like confrontation. This forum has helped me so much, I don’t feel so alone.
I never thought this was part of menopause and yes I too have cut off friendships because life is short – geesh must be a better way to improve
Curious if any of you also feel like your partner/husband has grown weary of listening to all the symptoms? Sometimes I feel dismissed by my Dr but also my husband. I know he loves me and wants me to feel well, but there are times when I start to relay a concern or symptom and kind of get “that” look, and it makes me want to clam up. Another reason I’m glad to have found this community. Shared experiences and support.
So can relate to I’m starting to look after myself more for my sanity!
As women we ‘put up with’ so much, put others first all the time. Could intolerance of other people’s crap actually be a positive symptom of menopause?! Released from the emotionally damaging state of putting up with things? Perhaps this is one symptom to feel empowered by.
Well put Kit!!!! I think your right,, I feel a sense of power and freedom, no more nonsense,enough is enough!
Embrace it! Self-confidence is a very powerful thing ? ?
What a great perspective Kit. I agree with you 100%. I do feel a greater sense of freedom in finally putting my own sanity and wellbeing first.
It’s a shame it takes us so long to put ourselves first! Great that you’re finding freedom in it ??
Not sure if it is a symptom or not but I am the same ?
Think it’s just years of going along with everything, then suddenly you realise you’re tired of it.
I am much more outspoken especially if someone is being out of order ?
Yes! You’re right, I AM tired of it. I’ve always been the accommodating and “nice” one putting up with people. This change caught me by surprise because it’s not who I used to be (which is why I wondered if it goes along with all the other effects I’m feeling in peri). I too have started being more outspoken and just…honest? That seems to rub people the wrong way but I am caring less and less! ?
Hi, yes I understand completely. It happened to me too. I have even cut people out of my life if I felt they didn’t understand. Usually it has been concurrent with realising that they were narcissists and needed me to support their ego. When I needed them they were not there for me. Narcissists will not ever be there for you.
Clinicians can be very arrogant and cold hearted too. After an extremely painful smear test a female nurse said to me very unsympathetically “well that’s what happens to women your age” (meaning our viginas dry out and it hurts to have metal objects forced up them? It felt like a sword inside me, I wanted to scream! ) I left the room in pain and totally humiliated by her words.
I am so sorry you had such an awful experience with that nurse Sunny. I have no idea how I would’ve reacted to that! I am honestly so disappointed in medical staff and the disservice most of them do to women. The lack of compassion and empathy is just not right. I know this isn’t generalizable to every clinician, but there are too many stories of the same type of behavior. I hope you have been able to find better support elsewhere.
Thank you for sharing your support too – i completely agree with you that narcissists are not worth our time!
I’m sorry that you experience such non-comparison from a nurse. I am an emergency nurse and I now have been EVEN MORE sympathetic to my patients now especially aging females that I have to insert catheters into or when I assist with pelvic exams. Knowing how I have felt at times during sex or even just wiping after the bathroom. I can only imagine how bad that feels. She gives nurses a bad name!!! But just keep in mind one bad Apple …
???
I’ve recently decided to start treating people exactly the same way they treat me and it definitely rubs them the wrong way. But you know what? I don’t care. If people can’t handle it, I don’t need them in my life.
I agree, absolutely correct… l find myself more outspoken and not afraid to defend myself in any circumstance. I believe we all have enough of other people’s ignorance and is tired of it…
Definitely. That’s why women at 50 often get divorced or make real life changes. They just get sick of that shame society heaps on women so they jettison it and stop trying to people please. It’s like being a man – except they get called assertive.
So true Rf!!! The double standards are just… ?
Yes I agree… I’m thinking of doing a plan and making some significant life changes … it’s scary and I keep crying as I want to just leave and move away… I’ve put everyone else first for so long to the detriment of my “self” “health” both physical and mental and “identity”
I’m hopeful once it’s done I will be happier I’ve been in years ?
I call it menopause mouth!!
I seem to have swallowed a truth serum and lost my filter. It hasn’t gone down too well with some family that I’ve ‘put up with’ coming round every week and making me feel uncomfortable in my own home. They no longer visit which makes me feel guilty and sad but also relieved and happier overall.
Yes so true ,, some family members so irritating ,, go away we’re in lock down!!
Menopause mouth! ?Good on you for taking control of the situation. Frankly I wish I had done it sooner as it was adding no value to my life and just an additional thing to worry about which I don’t need!
“Menopause mouth” is great, I’m using mine too!
I love it! Now when people ask me why I’m such a b I can say it’s my menopause mouth!
I’m now 48, definitely peri-menopausal and have always been known for my directness, in work at least. I’m not a tyrant but I’ve always stood up for myself professionally and like you, have found that my tolerance levels have decreased and BS-o-meter has gone into overdrive! With age comes wisdom (apparently) so I’ve finally learned (for the most part) that I have to carefully choose my battles otherwise I’ll be viewed as a cantankerous, hormonal mare. Our lives are too short to put up with silly nonsense so I’m going to view it positively from here on in; as empowerment!!!
Agree with you Di, I love the idea of seeing this as an empowering change because I definitely feel it!
OMG, you sound like my twin Di! ☺️
YESSSSS. I’ve a thallus just cut ties with my mother after 50 years of toxic, controlling behaviour and I’ve never been happier.
We can only honour our parents if the are honourable,, this applies to my birth mother who gave me up for adoption 52 years ago , and found me just after my 31st birthday, i unfortunately discovered she is selfish inconsiderate alcoholic, it was hard to end relationship but had to protect my family. One huge blessing is I found a younger sister, I’ve know for 21 yrs and counting ♥️♥️
This sounds tough Katherine but I am glad you did what felt right for you and your family ♥️
Thank you Mona god bless!! What doesn’t break us makes us stonger ?
Katherine,
I am so glad you could take this poisoned person from your life. I have had so mi h issues with my mother. She neglected me since I can remember and I always want to make her to love me. I am originally from Brazil and since my children were babies, I went home once a year so she could see my kids. For 5 years I stood in her house but never felt welcomed. One day she just called two days before my trip to Brazil telling she did not want me to stay with her. Back them my brothers were single and they were still leaving with her. So that year we stayed at a hotel and friends house. During those 30 days, she only saw us once. My husband was upset and say we would never go back there. However, I could not do it and I kept going with my children every year. Soon my brothers got married so we have stayed with them. For 15 years I suffered hopping that she would see us and be happy for me and my children. She never did and it hurt me so much. Until 2 years ago I decided to let her go and I am so glad I did it. I still going to Brazil once a year, now by myself and I confess it hurts not seeing her but I learned that there are people who love me and this is enough to go back home. I am sorry that she did not enjoy my 2 beautiful kids but I cannot change how she feels towards us. It hurts to know that the person who should love me the most did not care for me. I am 45 years old and just had a mastectomy, hysterectomy, and a bilateral oophorectomy, so I am surgical menopause which according to my doctor is the worse kind. I live in Italy, military’s life and I am alone here. This is a hard time for me as I still recovering from the pain. Times like this, or when I had my 2 kids alone in Texas, I wish I had a mother to take care of me. I have learned to be a mother to my children and now I need to learn to be a mother to myself. I spend 45 years blaming me and her so I need to leArn to be my own lovely mother.
Thank you for let me sharing it with you!
Raquel,
God bless you !!! You are so strong , taking care of yourself is your first priority, and then everything will fall into place,,just learnt from my daughter age 21 how much I inspired her to cook and take care of herself, she really appreciated all I have done, it will not go unnoticed,, you are appreciated more than you’ll ever know , sometimes we just don’t see it. Thank you for sharing your story,, wishing you quick recovery,, amd send you much love and light?♥️♥️?
Congrats on finding your freedom! Prioritizing our happiness is important
It’s funny I just asked myself this question the other day! I am not very tolerant of peoples crap when not hitting menopause…… WOW it’s even worse know. My husband says I have developed a scowl! I wear my reactions on my face normally now it’s even more obvious!
Yes !! I have noticed I also have a scow look to my face,, trying to make more of an effort to smile resting face,, although feels like tension,, I might try the jade facial massage roller that is still sitting in box collecting dust ?
Me too! Noticed two additional lines across my forehead ☹️.
The masks are an added benefit to cover the near permanent frown on my face. Although, my eyes make up for it.
Hi I’m not sure it’s a symptom of menopause but it certainly seems to be a symptom of age and current environmental factors. This pandemic is showing just how annoying others can be in terms of their own behaviour. The government letting us down by being incredibly lacklustre in their handling of the pandemic. That said I noticed that I was getting more and more intolerant since my 30’s and since hitting 43 my tolerance for everything is at an all time low. I’m yet to start menopause but I feel I’m edging ever closer to it. Even my husband has stated that since he hit the big 40 (4 years ago) he has lower tolerance for stupidity.
Yes Angie – don’t even get me started on how I feel about the current situation! I think you’re right it’s a change you feel at this stage having put up with so much for so long and realizing life has passed you by. I don’t want to put everyone else’s comfort over my own sanity for another 40 something years!
I totally agree my tolerance is really low, this isn’t helped by memory lapses, I get angry really easily and often feel frustrated then after I’ve lost my temper I feel terrible guilt and start pulling away from people.
Last week I lost my temper with my boss for telling me off for not following a new process, I had no idea a new process had been set up so got angry how can I follow a new process I know nothing about?? On Friday night I got a memory flash to the meeting we had set up the process in, oops ? good job I have an understanding boss, not looking forward to holding my hands up on Monday!
Oh Jolange, I totally relate. this has definitely happened to me before! Hopefully you have a good relationship with your boss and can laugh about it (that’s my coping mechanism haha). Good luck and hang in there xx
I have been feeling the same way lately. Normally I just go with the flow and let people be their own crappy selves, but I find myself not tolerating it as much as I used to and just straight up walk away from them as soon as they start being rude. I have totally chalked it up to peri menopause hormones, but can’t say I mind it all that much. People will either show me the respect I normally give to them or they won’t be in my life anymore. Good luck with handling the many ups and downs of menopause ?. ❤️
Thank you! I have found so much comfort in everyone’s comments here and even a new realization that I should view this positively perhaps ❤️
Oh my goodness yes! They say the ‘baby brain’ unplugs and all of a sudden you don’t want to look after everyone else and avoid conflict at all costs. Now it’s time to be assertive and not to put up with all the crap you used to. Quite a relief!!
I agree,, a silver lining ?
I think it’s a combination. I’ve never been as moody as I am now, if you can call it that. But also, it’s a “I’m too old for this s**t!” situation. Right now I’m taking black cohosh, but before I started taking it I was having hot flashes many times a day. As a result, I was annoyed and irritable a lot. Now I feel much better. But still, I don’t feel I have to take crap. Ah, the joys of getting old. Lol!
Oh wow! I thought it was just me! I have been soooo intolerant of people’s crap.. I have a reputation at work now that if there is a problem patient ( I am a nurse) they get me to sort them out and set them straight!! Family think I am angry all the time but I just have no time for stupidity or people that annoy me. I was always a little like this but in the last 12 months or so it has gotten way worse! I try my hardest to not open mouth and pick my battles but it doesn’t always work out.
I hear you all ladies thought it was just me but I’m tired of others ? can’t believe it took me to 60 to stand up for me ?
Yes most definitely have very low tolerance levels,, no patience, Hit my boiling point during COVID,, quit my toxic job , and now going thru five stages of grief,, stuck in the anger stage for far to long,,, constantly remind myself it is what’s best at this time, it will be ok ,, breathing techniques are working wonders?
Katherine good on you for taking action! I am sure you will be more than just ok, you will be much happier having left something that wasn’t right for you. It may seem tough now but you will get through it and emerge stronger. Best of luck to you ❤️
Thank you Mona for your kind words encouragement, greatly appreciated?
Yes I have definitely found this myself over the last few years & discussed it with friends too… we’re all finding out fuses shortened & an inability to stop the fury has taken hold – even the rational side of our brains are saying ‘ok enough – point made/let it go!’… Also think there’s an age component too though – at 52 I’m now more tired & feel I see through things more easily especially bs at work… as I’ve previously had cancer I’m not able to have HRT but have been recommended Evening Primrose Oil & Starflower Oil which I’m giving a try… fingers crossed!
I agree with you Emsa, age and experience has definitely taught me to see through the BS better than before. We should consider it a gift! Good luck to you and hope you find relief with some of these remedies.
Yes ladies! I couldn’t agree more with what has been said l am learning the art of saying No gracefully some people get it and some don’t and that’s ok , l am 52 and my plan is to live my best life and stop giving away my energy to people places and things that no longer serve me ..
This is a great attitude and perspective Anita – thank you for sharing ?
Yes! I’m trying that too. As you said some get it and some don’t, the ones who don’t are usually not worth it. Energy is precious these days.
I’m 51. A few years ago I ran for local public elected office. I’d never experienced so much stress in my life. My doctor diagnosed me with adrenal fatigue, among other problems. My mother served in elected office for years. I love my mother and look up to her. When I shared with with her the stress I was feeling (figuring she could empathize) and described the physical ailments – such as cessation of my period – as evidence that this wasn’t everyday run-of-the-mill anxiety, her response was “maybe you should just consider your age” as suggestion that a ceased period is just something to accept rather than a bonafide symptom of my stress.
I share this story because I think it important for us women to be cognizant of how we’ve been conditioned to expect and tolerate what a growing older female body should be like and how we unknowingly perpetuate that tolerance and expectation. The body changes (and the mind and spirit, attitude and soul) and we should openly talk about those changes, in a sharing of “this is my experience” kind of way and “I support you with listening, encouragement, and maybe shared experience, as you navigate your way”. Not a “well, that’s just the way it is to grow into an older woman” – – that perspective is bullshit, and I hope we are vigilant for when we might be encouraging that story of tolerance to ourselves or others.
I thought it was just getting older but I’m definitely feeling it too!
I hear you Mona.
Hi. So happy to hear someone ask this question. I’m feeling the same way! I do think it might be a combination of the state of the world, the pandemic, and menopause. But I also add my job responsibilities to that. As a school administrator, I’m seeing frustration levels from every angle…teachers with too much on their plates and parents not equipped to work with their kids at home. But what it really comes down to is that I’ve noticed intolerance from others and a level of rude and entitled behavior that I’ve never seen before. And that puts us all on edge unfortunately. Finally, we keep asking ourselves when all this will be over but in the words of John Maxwell, there is longevity to this pandemic and we simply have to have the courage to continue. Self care is what I’m doing, especially when I feel my intolerance levels creep up. Meditation and exercise are my go to because I can shut out the world when I do both.
Yes I also feel the same way,,especially the part about ,,,the intolerance from others and a level of rude and entitled behaviour that We have never seen before, which puts us all on edge ,,, you have described my workplace,, so toxic that I am no longer employed,, it’s as though someone lifted the veil and I can see some people for who they really are.?
Gosh I’m so relieved reading this thread. My tolerance for other people’s crap is zero right now. My husband and I find ourselves living alone for the first time in 20 years since both our kids are now at university. It’s hard! He drives me mad. My mouth opens before my brain has chance to say “is this a good idea?” Poor guy doesn’t know what’s hit him but on the same hand, I’ve been putting up with a lot of bullshit all these years and now the filter has gone I have realised it. It’s clarity. I like the idea someone suggests of calling it ‘menopause mouth’! But it’s both liberating and terrifying all at the same time. I’m wondering where we go from here?
Wow !! You have just described my current life situation, marriage 23 years, at age 52 with an empty nest,, and both home all day… it has been a real challenge to say the least.I also feel he drives me mad at times and frustrated, with his lack compassion, with all my symptoms . I shared my thoughts and concerns with him , I asked him to please read up on menopausal symptoms . I must say he was more understanding within a few days. And I believe he is also in he’s own mid life change,, witch I need to be more understanding, and learn about his changes as well,, I think talking and doing thoughtful loving gestures, support each other show kindness it has really made a huge difference in such a short time,, just know Racheal you are not alone , I often try to be like a mindset of a teenager, free to do what I want, when I want, turn up to volume and dance ? ❤️❤️
I have also been experiencing the same thing. For too long I have put up with things, remained silent and consequently have often felt invisible. I don’t know whether it is age or the menopause. I don’t see myself as being outspoken or ‘moody’ but rather as someone who has now found their voice I am still polite and respectful, But feel that my voice deserves to be heard.
I think it’s more about age and self respect that we start to stand up for ourselves. People like to blame everything on menopause the same way they said it was PMS when we were younger. Why is it when we disagree that they blame it on hormones and dismiss us ? Times are changing. Own your newly awakened assertiveness and never fear standing up for yourself or others ! Enough is enough.
Honestly feel like I’m losing the plot. Almost like I’m bipolar. One minute I’m fine the next I’m a raging bull the next I’m crying in the corner telling everyone to leave me alone. Really don’t know how to get by without locking myself away. Does it get easier?
I listened to my husband telling my father that I’m much more forthright these days. I hadn’t realised I was reacting any differently to situations, and wondered why he said that. Reading this makes me realise that yes, I am less tolerant, and I am calling people out on things instead of just letting things ride 🙂
I felt the very same way , worried I was going crazy,, and worried ,,,something was wrong with me !! Which made me feel even more stressed, and on edge, but I have just come to realize that there’s a cycle every 25 days , I will have those weeping, sad , angry, emotional days , and then it passes in about 48 hrs ,, so knowing that it is normal , and I can try and lessen my stress load if possible, until I feel better able to cope, with gentle reminder to loved ones that time out is necessary, and help out , our help yourselves to making dinner. I feel the more knowledge I learn , the easier it gets to cope with symptoms ,, example hormones are highest in am upon waking,, had an anxiety attack upon waking, knowing this made it less worrisome, and easier to cope. I find high hormones symptom days are highest upon waking and usually settle down towards mid day. Stay strong you are not alone!! ??
When peri started for me I really felt this way. CBD oil helped.
I have just recently within the last month notice my increased irritability with too loud everything, whether it is people watching TV, people who say huh like they can’t hear me, and other people and their la k of common sense driving.
I am in the early stages and struggling with the low tolerance and brain fog. I am normally such an easy going person – concerned it’s will effect family life
Hi Helen, I feel similarly to you and I too worried about the effects on my relationships. I’d say talk to your closest loved ones about what you’re going through and how you’re feeling – they will most likely understand. As for others, think about whether they bring any value and joy to your life. For me, if the answer is no, I now worry less about keeping them happy!
Hi Mona, I’d like to recommend a book: The Shift: How I (lost And) Found Myself After 40 by Sam Baker (a journalist based in the UK). It’s quite empowering around this topic (and many others), plus suggests a number of other useful resources. Very funny and poignant in places too. Good luck ?
I think it just comes with age. My tolerance level is way down. While I’m more forgiving with young people, my tolerance of people over 30 is near 0.
I agree Mona! Maybe it’s in our Colorado air?? I’m perimenopause and I’m really irritable. I worked in the health care industry for a good portion of my career. After being around doctors who are generally rude, to the point, etc, it stated to get to me.
It took me several years to learn the fine art of saying, “No,” to people, experiences, or demands that take my energy and don’t improve my life. I say my give a damn is busted. I’ve seen funny memes that say, along these lines, “Don’t mess with a woman over 40. She’s irritable and tired of everyone’s crap!”
? maybe this is the age for true Women’s Liberation and now we should be speaking out for future generations of women.
I think it is more my age, having spent all my teens, then my 20s and then my 30s and then my 40s feeling that if I spoke out it would cause more problems than it would solve, often being put in my place by women in their 50s I feel it is my turn now! I have a lot of experience to draw on and when I feel like speaking out I have the confidence to do it from a position of strength. However, if my hormones give me that ‘edge’ to give me the push then that is great! I’m seeing this as a good thing. And, if sometimes I go off the deep end without warning then who cares? I’ve been tolerant of others’ outbursts for so long it’s my turn!!!1
I think once we get to a certain stage in our lives we just don’t take crap anymore. I even started swearing words i never used to just the frustration i think when your brain gets lazy
I agree – it’s probably a combo of age & menopause. I definitely don’t have time to deal with the drama that I used to with people. If it’s too much, I’m out. No time.
Yes, Yes, I feel the same way, but I’m blaming it on getting older, (and the passing of “the love ? of my 80’s life, Eddie Van Halen), I don’t have time the patience for stupid anymore, I’m so sick of the words, COVID, social distancing, masks, “you just coughed, you have the virus !” And this is the new normal !!! What is so hard ? Right now there are cautions we have to take to (hopefully) put this crap behind us, DO IT, so we all can move on, before I pull my hair out !!
Hells yeah! My tolerance to other people’s crap (and medical l gaslighting) has shrunk to zero and I will call it out. It’s definitely a combination of age meets hormones plus calling time on squeezing myself smaller in order to make other people happy or keep the status quo. I’m also enjoying having a voice for pretty much the first time ever. As long as you’re not overly rude I say embrace it!
Me too Enough is enough Not doing it anymore
I think some of it may just be age and the state of the world — but I know I’ve had some rage flashes that seem hormone related and were definitely out of proportion to whatever triggered them. So, good for you for standing up for yourself, that seems like a good thing, but if you do see a pattern of emotions that seem out of the ordinary, it might be something to look into.
Yes, l felt the same too. Nobody get away with anything from me.
Wow!!!
Ditto, ditto and ? nail head. I have always been passive to passive aggressive; concerned about not making waves or hurting others feelings. Now I’m just no non-senses not to the point of being insensitive but I definitely use my voice and let my options be known and heard. I think this is the part where menopause and the intolerance that comes along is a good thing and has been a part of self improvement.
I can totally relate to this bc I am going thru this NOW
May I recommend “Warning”, a poem by Jenny Joseph, which starts like this: “When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter…” and concludes
“But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.”
I find myself the older I’m getting less patience I’ve got. People annoy me just now, going through menopause doesn’t help. Everyone says it’s me that’s grumpy
I read somewhere that the change in hormones is at the heart of a lack of patience with others. Without all that estrogen, we just don’t feel as accommodating and full of caring. I’ve developed some ways to cope, but generally I avoid people. I know that feeds the sense of isolation, but can’t make peace with the feelings of impatience and intolerance.
Exactly…me too!
Hi Mona, I almost lost my job because of it, and had no idea I was peri. I had a difficult boss which didn’t help, but I became intolerant, almost aggressive. Not helped by sleep deficiency and brain fog, I would just lose it at work and even at home. After trying to manage it for 2 years on anti-depressants a lovely female doctor suggested I might be peri. Didn’t even know such a thing existed. This was my major driver for going on to HRT, as my job is quite demanding in my analytical skills and requires a clear head. A year later, and I look back and am sad I didn’t know about peri menopause and the associated symptoms. I think workplaces could do more to be aware.
No. I think this is completely normal after life experience and your environment has taught you to suck it up or do something about it.
Well I’m half way to death and been walked on, ignored, condescended on, etc. for 40 years prior. Past 8…fed up!!! So I’m in no mood for ignorance, millennial whining and blatant stupidity! I understand not everyone knows how to be strategically observant and process a 360 degree outlook while remaining open minded and have something intellectual and multi-faceted to share back in their response but come on…! For the love of Pete, we are all observing and should be learning as we take in these experiences. Why the masses are so unaware, self-absorbed, buy into the propaganda of the hour, behave and act so self-righteous or just plain inconsiderate rude! I guess I expect too much from others brains and learning curves. It’s all I can decipher and boy people say they want truth but they do not. They never do, a lie or skewed to stroke their ego is better 90% of the time. Why? I’d rather have truth and learn, honesty and loyalty rather than lies and deception with a smile. Ugh. People are so bizarre…or maybe I am?
I think it’s a combination of menopause and age. I’ve never been one to pander to people but I’ve always been more of a placater. I like a nice, quiet life. Not any more. I speak my mind now. I don’t think I’m rude but I can be blunt. I just think you get to the point that you do so much for people, family, friends, customers and then you think, what do they do for me? I wish I’d been more like this years ago! X
I am for sure. I can switch in temperament within seconds and can feel the wave of anger starting below my knees rushing quickly up to the top of my head. I literally feel possessed for a brief moment in time. I am fully aware of it and know that I’m going to stomp around in the hope of finding someone I can start some kind of debate with for absolutely no reason at all. I’ve noticed that when this starts to happen my English is impeccable and I become very witty and smug. Anyone relate to this at all???
I feel exactly the same, I am not sure about it being menopausal but I am sure it is a sign of getting older. My patience is a lot shorter than when I was younger, but then again why should our happiness suffer for other people. It is time to put yourself first as your happiness is important too.
I agree that my tolerance for peoples crap is lower, but I also have the polar opposite problem of craving human company after all the months of Pandemic isolation…. So I feel really caught. Seems like when I reach out to people these days, so many of them are just SO FAKE!! I’m not sure when that became an accepted & desirable quality, but it NEEDS TO STOP!! Not sure what the hell to do???
I really don’t know on this one, if it’s related to perimenopause. I lost tolerance of people a couple years ago (I’m 44) after four or so years of dating as a single mom of three. I am happily single now, looking forward to planning my own future without compromising anymore.
My girls, 17 and 12, also have the same viewpoint now! Maybe we were just not taught to put ourselves first when we were younger??
Of course, menopause is very empowering so I don’t mind giving it credit!!
Yes, and it’s across all relationships. For me it started around 40. And not only lower tolerance I stopped using the? At the end of my sentence. I just use statements all the time. No more asking permission to do what I want.
Whooboy. I definitely thought it pandemic politics that got me so riled but then I recall when I first heard of COVID and I was pissed. Like that’s just what we need. I too always put others first and frankly am tired of getting walked on or taken fir granted. Thank you for daylighting that this is not unusual. I actually got a coach to help me work through my intolerance as tolerance has always been something I valued highly.
I feel exactly the same. I used to always listen to peoples crap and really take it, from bullying at school or slated for being a single parent it used to really get to me. But now I do t give a s*** what anyone says I don’t want to know what they think. And people who live for drama don’t come into my life in anyway anymore.
I think it’s because we’ve put up with things for years and we’re fed up. Could it be related to menopause? Maybe for some people. I started getting fed up with people’s nonsense around age 36 though and was nowhere near menopause or peri menopause. That could explain why older folks don’t have a filter. My filter is still around but doesn’t work right. My mom says I never had one.
Yes! I feel this! It’s like I’m waking up and realizing how many of my choices in the past were to please others at my own expense. I’m done with that! I constantly have to remind myself I don’t have to sacrifice myself for others.
I just watched Wanda Sykes Netflix comedy show ‘Not normal’. She had a great explanation why we become less tolerant. Apparently the lack of Estrogen makes us more like men who don’t give a shit ???