I’m not sure if this is related to menopause or just life, but I’ve started losing my love for my job. I enjoyed my high-stress career for over 25 years, but now, at 55, I just don’t feel as motivated or excited as I used to about my work. The additional stress from dealing with my menopausal body and brain definitely don’t help. Everyone I work with is younger than me so I don’t know who to share this with. Has anyone here experienced this and how did you navigate these feelings?
– Selma, New Jersey
Maybe it’s being at a mid-point in my career, but I feel the same way. No motivation, totally burned out, and no clear direction on the path forward to advance in my career. I could use a career counselor, mentor, or a vacation. I am so afraid my job performance is suffering because of fatigue, anxiety and brain fog. ??♀️
Yes to all of the above…preferably a coach while I’m on vacation! I’m so sorry your symptoms are impacting your work performance. Have you sought any treatment or support from work? My symptoms have been mild/moderate so I’ve been managing with lifestyle changes that help a bit, but I’ve been researching my options in case they do get worse. I hope you find some help to feel better!
It’s really hard when you have previously done a brilliant job and then the brain stops working as it should and my memory as had such an Impact on my performance my boss thinks I am no longer capable and has lost trust in my abilities , makes me feel even worse and stressed out !!
This is 100% me! I used to be the sharpest and smartest person in the room, now with my brain not functioning to its capacity because of these dang blasted hormones I feel depressed about even striving- the ambition is there but I cannot depend on my brain. Gaah!
This matches
my experience. The brain fog just men’s others (mainly men) think I am incapable and say so. They bully and question whether I should be doing the job.
Got so bad, I quit.
I’ve just left a highly paid but super stressful job to avoid the politics and garbage and am about to accept a smaller role in a company of 100 people to improve my quality of life at work. I’m looking forward to interesting work still but fewer games to play.
Good for you Ange! I’m fortunate I suppose that I didn’t have to deal with politics and games like you did. I’ve mostly just felt uninspired and have been thinking a change of setting might help in getting that back. I hope your new role is everything you want it to be – wishing you all the best!
Good for you Ange. I am looking for a less stressful/political BS job too. I don’t really care what that job is though. I used to care about my career and doing well but that has vanished.
I left my job in March 2019. I just couldn’t cope with it any more. Like you are all saying, brain fog, working with much younger people made me feel so old , useless, inadequate & my confidence has disappeared almost completely. My weight gain hasn’t helped so I feel even more useless for letting this happen yet again. I’d like to think I will work again ( I was 52 when I left work) but the thought of interviewing for a job freaks me out, let alone meeting new people. Feeling like this is embarrassing too – so many women I know my age aren’t suffering at all & seem to have so much energy when I just feel exhausted all the time. I went onto HRT last year but because of the pandemic, the pharmacies could not get hold of the one I was on so I went cold turkey for 2 months until I couldn’t cope with the anxiety & severe hot sweats all over again & asked the Doc to find me a HRT that is available. I’ve been back on for 3 weeks so far & fingers crossed they will help.
I have my fingers crossed for you! Hope the treatment helps you getting back on track. Just know you are not alone in how you’re feeling, even if you know women who aren’t struggling (I do too). All of us have different bodies. Those of us who’re struggling need to stick together and support each other!
Thank you Selma. I did reduce my work days down to 4 at first but found I was doing 5 days workload over 4 days so was absolutely shattered. I feel better knowing I tried before I gave up completely. I’m so glad I can talk to others like this – no one around me understands what I’m going through every single day. I feel like I’m turning into an old lady who only ever talks about what health problems I’m struggling with today!
Oh my gosh my story to a tee. Everything you said.. same thing !!! I feel you sister
I can just imagine how it must feel to think about getting back in. If it’s any consolation, I left the workplace to start my own business with a partner for 3 yrs. We decided to look for traditional work again when pandemic was just starting and I felt like a fish out of water…like maybe I ‘lost it’. But it really was seamless getting back in again.
If you’re thinking you want to try, may be worth pushing yourself to give it a go. You don’t have to stay!
I’m the same age as you Selma and feel exactly the same! I have a long & stressful working day and Increasingly feel I no longer have the energy or resilience to do the job properly or to enjoy it. The menopausal insomnia, exhaustion & brain fog have really dented my confidence and I’m looking at ways to move to something less stressful and more fulfilling tho will take a financial knock… Good luck!
Yes I relate to all of that too. I don’t know about you but everyone I work with is younger and not dealing with the same crap, so I feel extra conscious and insecure. I doubt I could solve that part by moving on to another job, but maybe something less intense and stressful would be good like you said. I just didn’t expect I’d feel like this about doing what I loved! That’s midlife for you…
Yep, I’m the oldest in my team by quite a stretch and the majority are in their 20s and 30s. I had “the menopause conversation” with my younger, male boss a few months ago as I was just so exhausted all the time and it was excruciating!!
I so understand. I was fired from my job at 51. I could no longer do the job. The brain fog, cognitive decline, exhaustion, memory loss did not let me function. Now Im 52 and still suffering. I’m on Hrt so hopefully this will help me. I can no longer work an office job. I can’t even do an email. I have to write everything down everyday so I can remember what to do for the day. Menopause is tough, just praying this gets better. I see other older woman than me, still working. So why did menopause hit me so hard.
I’m a nurse. And there is nothing like the increased job stress during this pandemic. On top of that, there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING like having an N-95 mask on, (and I have been test fitted so there are NO gaps in that mask), yellow PPE gown, gloves and googles, and THEN having a hot flash!!! It’s feels like you are sitting in satan’s anus and there is nothing you can do but ride it out and hope you don’t faint. And your patients are looking at you like “oh my God, my nurse has COVID!!” Nursing morale is at an all time low and so many of my friends have retired and many have just quit. Pandemic, PPE and hot flashes are a horrible combination?. I definitely understand the lack of love for your job right now.
Girl, same. 100%! Be sure to pee first, b/c who knows when you’ll be able to finally exit your pt’s room and strip down. Although, if you DO pee your pants no one will be able to tell from all the SWEAT!!! Also, pray to the Heavens no one codes in there b/c can you imagine doing chest compressions with ALL that PPE?!?! Good gravy!!! ??
Agree, 50 yrs old I finally understand my past nurse mentors (Manangs/Older sisters-tagalog) always /talking dreaming of retirement!! They were so bad-ass great nurses worked so hard! I love you all. Lets get through it together: help each other remember! – I am going to go out and buy electric neck fans for all my sisters!
I feel exactly the same. My insomnia, brain fog and anxiety are making me hate a job I’ve done for years and enjoyed. I also don’t feel I can talk to anyone at work about it so there’s a constant battle to make it look like I’m enthusiastic and energetic, but really, I’d happily never work again.
I honestly feel the same and think about starting over almost every day!
Me too…if it weren’t for covid and the uncertainty I probably would’ve made myself quit and start over already!
I totally understand how you feel Selma! I started to feel like this a few years ago and as a result I dropped my hours to working part time. I now use my days off to do all the things I love like yoga, meditation, cycling and hiking. I still find work a little tedious but have a renewed vigour for my new life! All the best to you.
Thank you for this advice Julie! After reading some comments here I’m considering asking about changes to my hours. Some time off every week could really help I think.
I work in Healthcare (clinical lab) and I made the same change about one year ago, I dropped my hours to 3 days a week & 1 weekend. Having the extra days has helped me immensely – from managing symptoms, balancing time for self care and increased care stress of aging parents…it adds up. I am fortunate I was able to request & be granted this and that support helps keep me motivated at work.
I hear you Selma I can relate to most of the comments, dealing with the symptoms of the menopause is not easy at all ? It doesn’t help with the lack of sleep that l get!! I know most of you are the same with the sleep deprivation ? Going up the stairs is a struggle these day’s l feel older than 55. I have to give God thanks l have still got a job during this pandemic, we have to keep going ladies. If you are in a position to reduce your hours l would say go for it!! Looking forward to a girlie spa weekend break to have some me time post covid ??
You are so right – I am absolutely thankful I have a job during the pandemic. Even if I’m struggling with it, I am grateful. I also have a hard time getting good sleep like you and just feel drained at times. No doubt that’s impacting how I feel about my job. I would love some time off to get me-time, fingers crossed we can get that soon!
I’m definitely going thru that and I’m you get than most with Menopause due to a hysterectomy from endometriosis. I’ve struggled with even getting out of bed because I’m not motivated. I’m emotional all the time and my sleep is off so then there is brain fog. Any suggestions?
So sorry to hear you’re struggling so much. Have you talked with your doctors about any treatments that might help with your symptoms?
Hi Mimi, have you considered seeing a specialist to adjust your Hrt?
Hi haven’t because they had me on so many medications. Anti depressants, estrogen all had me feeling worse. I actually find that when I make room for myself-exercise and rest I feel better. I am interested in more natural ways to heal. Looking into changing my diet. Marijuana also helps me. No more meds if I can help it. They altered my thinking and ability to function if I missed a day. I’m looking at all the comments and suggestions though. Thanks ladies!
Absolutely identical
Good luck to both of us Selina!
My work attitude has also shifted. I am fortunate though that I have my own business and to an extent can decide who I want as clients, so I’ve become more choosy, avoiding people who are too high-maintenance, and I delegate more. I try to laugh more at work; laughter always helps. I also try to be as generous to my staff as possible because I rely on them so much. And when Covid is over, I’ll take some much-needed vacations!! Travel and enjoy life. A good vacation is invigorating!!
I feel desperate for a vacation! What I’m looking forward to most post-covid. You’re right that that might help.
Hearing all the comments thought I was going insane. I love my job and couldn’t imagine doing anything else though had contemplated side way moves to easier work which would not be as stimulating. I had approached my manager which has resulted in alterations to my working pattern (same working hours over four days not five). Having the additional day away from work has been truly uplifting and allowing me to get much needed rest. Have found much needed focus motivation, and enhanced my productivity. I realise this may not be a solution to suit most people but just an idea.
I’m seriously considering this after your suggestion and some others here. I could really use some time off in the week to focus on other things. Thank you for the advice!
Yes, been feeling this way too for a couple of years. I’ve been applying for Other jobs but my heart isn’t in it. I’d love to throw in the towel but being the career person, it’s my salary that pays the bills. Agree, lost love and passion but maybe reflection of being so exhausted and burnt out all time. Good luck you’re not alone ?
You are not alone. I have worked in the social sectors for nearly two decades and now I have grown tired of it all. I find some relief in the some of the younger people understand the mission. However I think it’s time for me to move on.
Yup I feel fed up with my job most days. Sometimes you actually end up enjoying it.
You are not alone Selma!
I am on the verge of quitting my job of 9 years at the age of 54 – I suffer from lack of confidence due to this dratted menopause and brain fog. I feel so forgetful at work when I know I should know my job inside out by now! This menopause of 10 years has totally drained me (especially the hot flushes). What this enforced Covid lockdown has shown me is that I am much calmer when I am at home and my symptoms improve. Maybe we should look at alternative careers? Different avenues? Listen to our hearts.
Wishing you all the best – and believe in yourself.
I have moved from a stressful job in emergency medicine to Hospice work . I thought I needed a change but turns out I’m just tired of nursing which I love !
My brain fog has made me make a drug error and I have to be supervised for a month.
I’ve just had a week off and am probably going to take my pension and just do some agency nursing , I’m 58
So many people leave their jobs at 50 ish due to all the symptoms we have stated here. But if there was more awareness, then occupational health could support us through more and offer options etc so we don’t have to
leave the jobs we love, because we are struggling with menopause. Because when we get out the other side, we may wish we hadn’t left and it will be too late to
find another job.
I have stuck it out, 54 now, but been through some v difficult times with bullying bosses .
With covid , so many people working from home allows us to push for this remote work in the future to reduce stress , give some peace during the work day to recharge if possible etc. So rather than reduce hours paid when in reality still doing a full time job, often good to first ask for 2-3 days working at home, even if just temporary.
I have the same problems as Wendy. My memory and the monthly hormonal migraines, lack of energy are doing nothing to help my career. I feel left behind and invisible at work now; where once I was dynamic and very well respected. I have no motivation to carry on and just getting up each day is a struggle. I think if I could loose weight it would help – I feel so stuck.
I look back ten years or so to my great ideas and eagerness to dash off in many directions, networking, having fun, learning, and not making enough money because I took off time for my kids. I was divorced, but advocated, fought, and started to gain some traction. I thought I could make this all work, but menopause has made me a fat hag with swollen joints. I struggle most with just not caring. I even resent being expected to care, which is not the way I used to be. Blaaaahhh! If my current employer offered health insurance, I may have the resources to help me find a bit more ambition for them.
I understand. Where is the interest and ambition!? I do believe it will return, in some form or fashion
Hi im lying in bed and googled my heading as to why am I loosing interest so quickly with new job not settling as well anymore but loving my role is it menopausal symptoms too.
Then this site came up. I think I am struggling and I feel like everyone is my clone.
I’m worried that because I’ve been sick as well that my employers are getting antsy that I’m not reliable however I also think they may not be able to afford to keep me either.
My issue is since peri menopause has settled in and my body hasn’t been the same since I had covid im always catching things now.
So much is going on in my personal life and I feel like I’m living in a fog. Always exhausted and just want to sleep.
My partner is very patient but he will not understand why I just want to leave my job. I’m bored tired frustrated but then energised happier and healthy im either on a high or im ready to let it rip. It’s been like this for the whole year so far. Now when I’m low, I’m emotiina and depressed. In saying all this I have had the mirena placed 14 mths ago and that’s been brilliant not having serious mood swings and heavy periods and I’m very aware there are side affects but it’s not causing any problems with what I’ve mentioned. I just can’t seem to settle with my job.
Wishing best for you, it’s tough stuff.
I was on more a 14 years and it was brilliant for me. But this past year all these mental and physical symptoms started showing up. I’m 54 and found a great OB and he is well informed on hormones. I think it’s helping a lot. My female doctors prior seemed to avoid discussing menopause or brushing over it. I hope you find relief soon. The fog is the worst.
I’m exactly the same I’m 56 and really unhappy and depressed at my work place nobody understands. I need out. I’m looking for a new job now
I feel the same. I reached out to a prior employer. It would be a big pay cut but less stressful. The problem is, after talking thru the job opportunity, I feel blah about that one too. I would hate to return there and then up and leave after they extend the opp to me as a boomerang. I have to believe this it temporary 🙏 wonder if this thread started long ago and maybe there are some good stories of women emerging from this funk fog
I am not sure how long ago this topic was posted. But, I am going through post menopause and feeling less energy and more stress. I have taken a step back from my career, but I feel a bit guilty.
I absolutely 💯 can relate to how you’re all feeling. I’m a teacher and am lucky because I spend most of my day with students and rarely deal with adults during the day. This is the only plus for me. I have noticed that I’ve become less tolerant with most people and try to avoid situations where I have to talk to anyone. I know it might sound odd, but it’s not odd to me. Kids give me all the stress I can take in a day so avoiding further stress is important. When I get home my poor family – husband and 2 boys – has to deal with my mood swings! Sometimes, for me, things are not okay in the universe. Menopause has been a difficult journey. I’m sure I’m not alone.
I can relate and empathize with you .Doing social work for 2 years has been great and my love for helping others hasn’t changed it , dealing with bureaucracy and rules that change with the yearly budgets, is exhausting And frustrating. Having Menopause along with the stress of work was too much. I’m using this time it reinvent myself sndmife. Stresss and Menopause do not get along.
This post caught my eye as I’m having some of the same thoughts. I never related it to menopause until now. Thanks for sharing
This happened to me although only in hindsight do I put it down to menopause. I jacked it in and started a new career. Less money but no stress. Worked for me.
Same here. I’m still in the job but COVID and working from home has provided a much needed break from the office politics and stressful routine. I had already worked from home from feb 18 to May 19 while being treated for breast cancer and I had trained as a PT to eventually start a new more fulfilling career. I’m now determined to work at that, but can’t leave my current job yet, bills need paying.
so glad to hear Im not alone! I can relate to so many stories here.
I’m 45 and have been feeling a lack of motivation for the last year, or so. I put it down to the changes that were happening within the business, but I realise now that it is the perimenopause. I always wanted to do a course to further my career but I recently turned down an extra task my Manager asked me to do. I’ve always been the first to want anything new and it was so unlike me. The brain fog has made me make so many stupid mistakes recently – thankfully I only work in admin so it’s not exactly life threatening stuff, but it’s frustrating and demotivating. I now feel so lazy and tired all the time. This has come on suddenly in the last couple of months. Every time I mention it to the doctor he asks what my symptoms are and I’m stuck! I have written lists but can never find them when I need them, despite being in an organised bullet journal! The boss says she hasn’t had any complaints about me or my mistakes but my confidence has been knocked so low.
Not sure if it’s related either, but I do not look forward to getting up in the morning to go to work either! I climbed the ladder and finally reached the position I worked so hard for. Now going on 23 years with the same employer and hate my job. Like many of you I’m surrounded by new and/or younger (I feel more incompetent people). I’m under stress all the time, but I also don’t care about what others say or think. I am impatient with subordinates and with my own boss (whom I had to teach and train). The only thing I have to look forward to is when I reach 28 years I can officially retire from my place of employment and not look back! Every day I still do my job with disdain and every day I’m reminded of the incompetence of my boss and other higher ups. My husband has to remind me often to just keep my door closed and my mouth closed, but it’s hard!
Sending everyone hugs today. ?. Wait, is this the hug emoji? Here take this one…?
I started having panic attacks at work a few years ago. I then started losing confidence, the politics and stress of the job got too much and I left.
I got a new job but that became just as bad with a terribly toxic workplace. So bad a work colleague collapsed at work with a brain bleed. They are recovering slowly. That triggered me to quit. My panic attacks and stress dropped off pretty quickly.
I am now unemployed due to pandemic and struggling to find any interest in getting a new job. I will need to at some point to earn money to live.
I get terrible brain fog and feel unable to work due to lack of confidence and anxiety.
Just applying for a job gets me hyper anxious and stressed. I cannot sleep and anxiety takes hold and I mess up the interview. Once I know I will not be working, my body calms down. So my body is telling me not to work….AHH!
With the pandemic seeing a GP is impossible and so I just try to survive. Anxiety and lack of focus gets to me. Exercise seems to be the only thing that eases the symptoms.
I want a less stressful job and a place with no politics and toxic bullying as it was killing me. It will mean changing job role as the nature of my past roles seems to come with politics and toxic management as a norm.
I have found that menopause has wrecked my career. A toxic environment at my last job was the final straw.
I fear that I will never be able to work again.
I’m going through this now after working hard to become a mammographer, after one year in the post but 24yrs in the nhs am really struggling it’s a high pressured job with lots of travel involved , I’m stressed tired and very anxious and currently off sick , awaiting blood results for hormone levels but the love for the job has gone and mounting pressure due to Covid for us to screen more and further away from home is not making the job appealing to keep , my health has to come first
Same. Tired of my demanding career, feeling insecure despite decades of experience, and anxiety to boot. If I could afford it I would retire. Some days I think about just getting any job that doesn’t require me to be in leadership.
I’m here. Dealing with brain fog, fatigue, back ache. Has been a tow on me. Days I’m dreading going in and I’m so tired.
Yes ….. it’s terrible… I basically walked away from my job last year and had a bit of a mental breakdown. This stage of life is blah… I relate to your lackluster for the job.
So what do we do at this point !! I have to do something this is crazy making
Adding my experience to yours. I can’t recognise the person I am now at work. I pushed hard to get to a senior position (esp as a woman). Worked 60+ hours during pandemic. Have always reached out to mentor younger colleagues. But, since returning to ‘normal’ work, my self confidence has disappeared. I find it three times as hard to do familiar tasks. I cannot perform as well, and this shows. Cannot get past interview stage for other jobs. Got a new nightmare boss. This may be menopause or post-Covid, but I’m counting the days to making that decision. Am the sole income earner for our household, so resentful & trapped. However, this is not unique to me (thanks for sharing) and it will change one way or another.
I can’t see dates here so not sure how old posts are – but I am amazed at finding so many people in one group that are experiencing the same thing I am. I’m 54 and have been very active in my career and each role. I really don’t know when it started, but I just rolled onto a new client account when the level of my brain fog, apparent ADD – like, unable to hold a train of thought at all, couple with anxiety and fatigue. And depression. I had no clue some of these could be part of menopause and thought I was losing my mind. The main voice in my head daily was “QUIT! GET OUT!!”. I tried all my tricks. Diligent notes, planning (end up with papers everywhere in a laughable mess), meditation, prayers galore. Stumbled on a site that clued me in about the menopause relation, found a fabulous doc and started HRT 2 weeks ago. I am feeling a little better each day, anxiety, fog, add improving. Fatigue and, oddly – total disinterest. It’s so odd! I don’t feel ready to drop my career and I am a breadwinner. But question it every day. I’ve been hopeful I could overcome and now I’m embarrassed to admit to my employer how bad off I’ve been and am. Lordy. Praying for direction on my next move.
Thanks for sharing ladies. I know we will get thru this is many before us have. (My grandmother is 98, still hangs out and has a great sense of humor. She my fave and my inspiration. )
Same for me. The rest is captivating, I am curios, happy… bring in Monday and I wish I had a dental appointment. No motivation for work at all. Turned 50 yo and would love to feel energised by my work as I used to be. Help!
Hello. I’m Susie. I’m 53 and been on all different types of HRT. Some of them helped within 3 days I felt like me Again but the feeling would go away. I’m still on HRT but I have no Motivation at all. It helps with some of the severe physical symptoms I was having but I just want to feel like me again. Has anyone else had this problem?
If you are a physically active woman, I recommend reading Dr Stacy Sims’ book Next Level. Well researched guidance that’s really helped me. For example I know take creatine daily, not just for better workouts but for brain health. And anything I can do to sleep better is KEY for mood and cognitive ability. I too am losing my passion for my career and am trying to figure out what’s next. Read a book called From Strength to Strength last year and learned that our brains change as we age regardless (men too)— we lose our “fluid intelligence” but gain “crystallized intelligence.” So I’m trying to figure out how to work with that. Best of luck to all of us!
If you are a physically active woman, I recommend reading Dr Stacy Sims’ book Next Level. Well researched guidance that’s really helped me. For example I now take creatine daily, not just for better workouts but for brain health. And anything I can do to sleep better is KEY for mood and cognitive ability. I too am losing my passion for my career and am trying to figure out what’s next. Read a book called From Strength to Strength last year and learned that our brains change as we age regardless (men too)— we lose our “fluid intelligence” but gain “crystallized intelligence.” So I’m trying to figure out how to work with that. Best of luck to all of us!