How do I convince doctors I believe I’m experiencing menopause? I have stinging nipples, dry skin, night sweats, hair loss, sobbing with low mood, brain fog, fatigue…but their blood test said it’s not menopause. Any advice on how you’ve dealt with doctors and gotten support?
Kay – Newcastle, UK
So since asking for this discussion to begin, I wrote a lengthy email to the GP as that’s how they’re doing things at the minute. I explained all of my symptoms and I was lucky enough to get a female dr who is going through the same stages as me, so she listened.
It should never have been this hard.
So glad you have finally been listened to. No, it should never be this hard but sadly it still is! Thank goodness we have these sort of platforms to help and inform each other today. I got help from two women in my yoga class 6 years ago, they are now good friends. Trouble is we aren’t out there meeting others and doing such things as yoga ?♀️ these days ? so even harder to share information.
All the best xx
Kay I’m so glad you got sorted we are lucky if we know what to say here in U.K., all you have to say is that going by NICE guidelines it states that we should be treated die to symptoms and not blood tests as regarded by the Newson clinic
The doctors take an oath to say that they will do to the best of they abilities what they can for a patient NICE until the end of life so blood tests isn’t good enough, they are getting too lazy and it’s too much trouble to look into it and if you have more than one symptom like me your a challenge ?? x
Hi Kay it certainly seems like you have some of the classic symptoms but it’s not necessary to have tests to prove your are menopausal. Doctors should be going on symptoms alone. See Dr. Newson’s video about this subject on her website. https://www.menopausedoctor.co.uk/menopause/blood-tests-and-the-menopause
Keep seeing another doctor until you get listened to. Hope it helps xx
Thank you
I would have your thyroid checked and make sure that they do a T3 T4 instead of just a TSH and believe it or not I honestly believe that women who are suffering from menopause have thyroid issues also. I remember when I was finally told that I did have a thyroid disorder and it was worse than I thought! It was Hashimoto disease and that’s an autoimmune disease! I am on levothyroxine but that isn’t enough! And after having 4 now grown kids to having serious menopause symptoms along with the hashimoto disease. I really believe that most women aren’t taken care of properly by doctors because of either A they aren’t aware of much or B it’s such a patriarchal not only society but also in the medical field. They have more for men than they do for women and women have been overlooked for years and years! It’s time to change this ridiculous mentality!!!
Denise – look up a book called ‘A Mind of Your Own’ by Dr Kelly Brogan… she reversed her Hashimoto disease naturally and the book describes the whole process. x
I went to a doctor with much of the same symptoms 3 yrs ago. Fatigue, lack of sleep, low moods, weepy and bad brain fog. I told her I suspected menopause, that I needed help as it felt like I was loosing my mind and it was really not like me to be this way. I was prescribed a nasal spray ?. 6 months later, really struggling and worried I’d not be “believed” again, I went again to a different doc who understood the symptoms and took action to help me. I haven’t looked back since. Now, rather than suffering through symptoms, I feel in control of them.
Can i ask what you are using? A few years ago i was not understood by my gp. Felt very alone and depressed. I have had depression in the past so i knew it wasn’t depressing. Standing in the livibg room telling my husband i know i am not depressed, but i know something is wrong. Seeing a private gp, she did all the blood work, no menopause, but thyroid issues. But they seem to be very much the same as the menopause!? I’m taking thyroid medication on a rather low dose, but it has helped me greatly, but interested to hear what you are taking.
By chance, did you start having bald spots on your head? ? I’m having an awful self esteem problem and have thyroid nodules, and never heard that they would be a part of menopause! I want my hair back! Haven’t had my period for almost a decade!
Glad you found the right help.
I’ve been suffering with all those same symptoms (and also headaches/migraines). I’m wondering what helped you the most? Did you try HRT?
Hi Gaby
Did you brain fog improve? What are you taking?
Thank you!
Nic, So can you explain more about what your doctor did for you & how you are controlling your symptoms.
Poor you! Change doctors as many times as you need even if you have to change practice, it’s easy and your right. All nhs doctors in the UK should use or at least be aware of the directives from the link below. https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng23
Insist that you speak to a doctor with an interest in this field of medicine.
Good luck ?
Thank you. They’ve since listened to me.
I’m in the US and never had doctors even mention it. Women’s health is ignored. It’s infuriating. A lot will depend on independent research, advocacy, and anecdata. But HRT can help with depression. That should not be ignored if there is help to be had. If you’re in the UK, the “Postcards from Midlife” podcast has some good info on dealing with this and the NHS. There is one ep from Feb 1, 2020 that deals specifically with HRT & the symptoms you should not ignore. Good luck.
Im desperate i really am. On top of those couple of things im more depressed now then ive ever been and im already on antidepressants
So why isn’t anyone helping us. This is crazy
No one told me that menopause affects your cholesterol. My Primary care doctor basically said go on Lipitor and just deal with the fact that the rug has been pulled from underneath you. WTH
My bloods confirmed I was in early menopause and my doctor simply said ‘welcome to the menopause’. No treatment would be offered until I was period free for one year. Most I’ve gone so far is 8 months. So frustrating. Good luck x
They likely tested your follicular stimulating and luteinizing hormones. Ask them to test estrogen and progesterone. Those still may be normal at the time of the test but if you are over 45 and have the symptoms you describe and still have periods, you are likely peri menopausal. High or low hormones or dramatically fluctuating hormones can cause the common peri menopausal symptoms. Consider also seeing an endocrinologist.
i spoke with a female GP they are more amenable re this area & understanding- failing that repeated tests, change GP or consider complementary medicine- black cohosh helped me, as long as your not taking anything else/ other meds.
Good luck
See I heard that was good and would probably help, but I’m on antidepressants so I’m really scared. I’m already battling more than I think I should be. I don’t want something to go wrong.
Which bloods did they do? Also, how old are you? On any hormonal medication? Please see links below which might be helpful.
https://patient.info/womens-health/menopause
https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/
Im 41. I don’t even know how many or what they’re called. I’m on antidepressants, but I’m not sure they’re even working. I’ve been way way out of sorts this past month probably.
Jot sure how to convince them but the symptoms are REAL!! The problem I’ve heard w/ doctors by talking to my girl friends is they only recognize menopause when your period actually stops or your blood work is serious. Yet, BEFORE that there are plenty of symptoms that are definitely out of the norm.
I tried to tell mine something was going on!! After ending up w/ a hysterectomy because he down played my problem I changed doctors!!
Maybe if we say “PRE”-menopause they’ll listen. ??♀️
My doctor told me I’m officially in menopause one year after my last period. No blood test required. Have you gotten your thyroid checked? I had thyroid issues during peri menopause and the symptoms were very similar to menopause and I had to advocate for myself to get a blood test. Good luck!
I too am getting my thyroid checked and am in perimenopause. Crazy making for sure
Just tell them you need HRT
Well I’m in South Dakota and go to community health so what I pay is based on my wages and yeah they don’t care, but I can’t afford to go any where else
I’m now on the Gel
I actually saw a nurse first, might be worth asking to see one of their is one at your surgery and chances are, it’s a woman. Or I would go back to your surgery and for a second opinion, armed with perimenapausal information and symptoms. Keep pushing, keep at it, do not lose hope and hugs to you xxx
Well thats kinda why I’ve reached out on here to learn as much as I can.
I’m having the same problem. My GP (female) won’t accept my symptoms are menopause related
Keep asking around and change GYN doctors till you find one that listens is what I’d advise.
I hear you on the frustration…. not being heard or brushed off is infuriating!! Like many others here, I had to change doctors to get the care I needed and am working with a doctor I like.
She put two and two together that an anti-anxiety med (Paroxetine) that I had been taking was helping to suppress the hot flashes and that when I went off it they came back with a vengeance. She prescribed them again and it’s been working great for me! Here’s a link to the info published by the Mayo Clinic https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hot-flashes/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20352795
I have also been using over the counter herbs and Acupunture for other symptoms.
So grateful for this forum where we can support each other!
Yes, I found acupuncture helped me too until I realised what was really wrong, that I was having a very bad menopause experience and then I started Hrt and that helped more.
Yes, also grateful for the support of others. We women are left in the dark.
Really? Acupuncture? How did it help?
For the last three years I’ve been asking if I may be in menopause. I’m bipolar and my antidepressant wasn’t working. I’ve tried so many different meds! I finally told my doc my psychiatrist wanted me to get a baseline reading on my hormones. (I wasn’t lying, I basically told my psychiatrist that maybe we should do this). But my FSH levels came back post menopausal!!! My doctor was shocked! Sometimes you need to get creative and manipulate the situation!! I’ve never done this before, but I’m so glad I did! Now my psychiatrist can better treat me. I’ll talk with my doctor again after I get into a new antidepressant.
I found a practice that specializes in Menopause! They are amazing. You can even get video visits. They are all MDs and practice medicine based on data, not on how much money they can make on your misery. Look at the North American Menopause Society Web site. They list practices who follow their guidelines. The web site has tons of info too. My doctor explained that despite having normal labs. My symptoms were peri menopause. She gave me great info and was able to help me.
Hi! I had your same experience and I was 39! Try to have your blood test when you are at your worst. You know at the beginning symptoms comes and goes. Just wait and try again
For a long time my Family Doctor was awesomely, he always says “ let see what we can find out, then we taking from there…” I have to renew my health insurance when I went to see him, he was in the Network anymore.
As far as menopause I did research and trying holistic treatment, change my lifestyle (which it did helps a lot). when I finally was in menopause the only reason I known was because the hot flashes, miserable hot flashes.
I basically told my doctor I was perimenopausal. I did my homework beforehand so although my symptoms are mild made sure she realised I knew what I was talking about. She was excellent and sent me links to info about HRT. Check out NICE Guidance (UK) and quote it at them if they are not taking you seriously. They don’t need to do a blood test unless you are young. I read that blood tests are unreliable and depends on when you take it in your cycle. Also lots of women fobbed off with anti depressants when it’s much more than that. And complain if you don’t get good service. Be that difficult woman! You know your body.
My docs hate when I suggest what i have or need. They get rly pist saying I want to do my own treatment plan!
Last period feb 2013, by MAY 2013, dr refused to refill hrt’s until I had endometrial biopsy. Hurt like hell, like birth. Said my stripe was too thick! Well yeeah, no periods to shed and no Hrt’s duhhh!
My abdomen got fckn huge! Like an instant blow up!
The hot flashes were every 15 mins, without the hormones— HELL, drenched!! Spring- summer. Ick. Body temp raises to 104 within 30 seconds- ya sweat profusely, then about 60 seconds later its done. Crazy crazy without hrt’s
Way post menopausal she said.
Perimenapause started in early 40’s with night sweats only. Im 57 and Im a smoker. Early meno if u smoke they say!
I am Certain I’m going through menopause and I have lost half my hair but they tell me it’s not alopecia sending hair. I’m hoping it will grow back they said it will always better diet and I was malnutrition from being in the hospital with a serious is fine infection. Has anyone else experienced this severe air loss.?
Do what you can to ease the symptoms without medication for now and look for another doctor
I’m going through the steps into perimenopause early I think. I’m going to be 40 in August of this year. Hello crazy girl ??
I’ve spoken to a gp for the 1st time today as getting all the aches and pains etc. She said that they do t do hormonal checks if you are over 45 it is assumed that’s what it will be. But we are doing blood tests to rule out all the other things. I’m 48
Hi Kay
I’m only 44 and have been going through similar over that past few years, night sweats, joint pain, hot flashes, low mood and than insomnia. Every time I went to the doctors and tried to convince them they’d send me for blood tests that would come back normal. Dr told me to wait and rested when I hadn’t had a period again for a few months. This time it worked! Dr was still reluctant to give me HRT but has allowed it on a 3 month trial. I’m on a tablet called femiston, I’m only day 3 so not seeing any signs of improvement yet. Hoping to have big changes in myself and feel overall better.
I got fobbed off by my female GP when I was 42 with a comment saying my flushes where because it was summer so that’s why I was hot and at 42 I was too young to be menopausal. I’ve suffered with bouts of depression in the past so knew it wasn’t that, never felt so frustrated and ignored in my entire life, suffered for a further year then went back with my partner and saw a male GP and I think he only gave me HRT in the end because he felt sorry for my fella. Grrrr…I was on elleste duo for 7 years until last year when I had difficulty getting my prescription filled but it really helped
I wasn’t altogether satisfied that this gp addressed the question all that well. She didn’t explain how to convince your doctor that you are experiencing menopausal symptoms.
My doctors couldn’t care less, always fobbed off and made feel like I’m a nuisance
I feel your pain. I’m 45 and have had 2 blood tests over a year apart and both said no to menopause. After going through 2 other drs they both finally said due to my age and still being on the pill for other Heath issues, I shouldn’t have had blood tests and it should have been done on symptoms. I’ve had anxiety, bouts of crying, hot flushes followed by cold ones, issues with sleep and itchiness of my body along with others. My dr wouldn’t listen and so I’ve had to ask for others. It shouldn’t be like this, is months down the line I am finally being helped with the anxiety as so far I manage the other symptoms. Please don’t take the first answer you get as you know your body isn’t it’s usual self. I hope you finally get taken seriously x
I know I am not in the correct discussion but I haven’t been able to find a discussion available for men……. like myself…….. who desperately want to understand what my wife is going through in order to save my marriage.
Can anyone help me with this?
Read what fresh hell is this? By heather corinna.
This has been very helpful. I’ve been having irregular periods since I was 38. My gynecologist suggested a IUD. Now I’m 42 and back to having irregular periods with night sweats and other symptoms. They tested my blood for thyroids and menopause hormones but nothing. The comments here have confirmed that I know something is off and should advocate for myself.
I hope and hoped and still working 4 “you us”
My doctor is very suppton, my menopause, was so bad it feel like my hold body was shocking all the time and my nervesbegon to get very bad , and I have mood swings. I crying then happy the sad , I talk to my Doctor and she give me some medicine I became much better. But I steal have very bad hot flashes.
I cry a lot
Yes, find a new doctor. It took me going to many and being persistent before I found one who listens to me.
I’ve had the same problem. I went a couple years ago to a woman doctor. She refused to even give me a blood test. Said I was too young. I went to a different one this year. They did all the blood tests etc Nd found nothing. Gave me a steroid for pain and told me nothing was wrong with me. So now I just try to exercise , take lots of cold showers, and take vitamins. Hopefully it will work itself out eventually ???
I pretty much read the list of things I’ve done and tried without a breath!! Such as- i’d lost weight (4st), cut out caffeine, walked 5-10 miles a day, practised mindfulness, didn’t drink alcohol or smoke (not that I did anyway), checked my breasts, was aware I was a nightmare to live with ( thank you hubby) and I just needed some help! Life is tough enough xx I managed to get a locum doctor who listened but I think if I had talked to my doctor or any other at the practice permanently I’m not sure I would of had that support. You know how you feel and it is rough, very rough don’t struggle when there is help, very real help and I think as females we suffer enough xx
Feel and experience the same! 🙁
My blood test came back as “normal” and the doctor told me “I’m happy for you” you are far away from menopause!
I was really disappointed, cause I told him I’m feeling hot flashes, cold flashes, nausea, mood swings, etc.
No no no menopause, cause blood test are perfect !!!
My good Lord Jesus
My bloodwork came back regular last month and I have every symptom of peri menopause at 42. It’s like my Dr thinks taking a vitamin D will help – but I need more answers. Ughhh
I’m right there with ya!
I just tell my doctor how I feel I describe to her my symptoms and I ask for something to calm my nerves I’m always having anxiety so I need my mind to calm done so I can work on what ever else is bothering me
I’ve had blood tests and found that my progesterone and testosterone are abnormal, I am post menopausal but knew that it was the male one that was because I get bristles on my chin and have plucked hair which is too painful so got a flawless device and my hair grows quickly on my legs and pubic area, can the doctor give me anything, I’m seeing him this morning.
Well find a different doctor or go to Planned parenthood, they help with menopause there too
Self diagnosing is is a common thing among people hoping for a less complicated or scary diagnosis. Did your doctor do bloodwork, suggest or order any scans, exams, referrals to specialists, or any type of therapy or prescribed any medication or suggested any supplemental vitamins, and have you completed same? Do you take a multivitamin, walk out in the sunshine for at least bursts of 10 minutes, 3x/day? Are you current on all tests, mammogram, STD, yearly physical, and do you see your family doctor or internist regularly? Have you not had your period for more than a year, and followed up with a gyno?
I’ve given up on doctors for this issue. I was going through a lot of pain and I guess I just wanted to confirm it was menopause and get advice.
I had some young girl doctor. She totally ignored what I was saying to her, never said the word menopause, asked me to touch my nose and squeeze her hand several times. She took some bloods and said “I’m sure I won’t find anything wrong.”
Maybe it was a cultural thing, I don’t know why she was like that.
WTF. I’m over it. What doesn’t kill me will make stronger I guess.
You could be suffering from low iron and low vitamin D & B – those are all symptoms. Especially the hair loss and night sweats.
Have you thought about fibromyalgia or M.E. they have the same symptoms too hun, think your doctor needs to send you to rheumatologist, do you have pain in your body or in certain areas?
Why do Doctors don’t understand the pain ,that I have and don’t meet my need . Of having mirages head every day.
My own Husband is an emergency physician. He’s a kind, sweet, man and an exceptionally adept physician. I started perimenopause ten years ago. When I said, “I think this is menopause” he said, “no it’s not.” To which I replied, “I wasn’t aware you had either a vagina or a uterus.” It took him a full decade to understand how hard this can be for some of us. He’s both a doctor and my husband. And he’s a REALLY GOOD husband who really just wants me to love my best and happiest life. I say this because medical training doesn’t include women’s health. I was not listened to until I found a menopause specialist.
Just downloaded this app yesterday – what a relief to read through these comments! I’m not alone! Had a hysterectomy 8 years ago, ovaries remain; have been enduring hot flashes for going on 3 years; was diagnosed pre-diabetic May of 2021; lost 30 lbs by walking and following Noom (my sister lost her lower right leg to diabetes in 2019 so scares the shit out of me and was my wake-up call); alas, no change in A1C; started seeing a naturopathic doc who specializes in women’s reproductive health – wow! We could have talked all day! So worth the 3 hr drive! I re-took the Dutch Test and found cortisol metabolites are excessive (cortisol production itself within range); also did a micronutrient panel: low chromium and selenium; we now believe that the high metabolite nbrs are contributing to my hot flashes and blood sugar spike upon waking (without eating). Throw in a pandemic, social isolation, history of panic attacks and depression and we have ourselves a partay!!! ? Trying my best to eat right, avoid pharmaceuticals – I chose to go off sertraline three years ago and don’t really want to go back on anti-depressants. I do take quite a few supplements though. Reading a bunch: Dr. Julie Holland makes me feel sane; Dr. Peter Attia’s podcasts related to diabetes have been incredibly informative.